sea

 

Long empty corridors reeking of old lost souls. Sipping on cold water, I imagine a land without organic dirt. Where would the dying leaves find a home then? Maybe I could carry some of them in my bag pack. It’s better to lie still and do nothing than to wait for calls from ghosts. People they’re called. Not to me though. One day, not far from today, there will be a reunion of those who breathed yet never lived. I don’t wish to be a part of it. I am made of smoke and dust and all things fragile and transient. They want to hold me but like the desert sand, away I slip from their soft fingers. Someday, I want to dance the night away in a dark room. Alone and smiling. The wine glass would swirl on my fingertips as I’d recall forgotten names under heavy breaths. That’s what I want. A String of friends turned strangers fly away in mist when I look at the morning sky and just when I blink, the day drowns into the stars of the night and I find myself talking animatedly to the wind. I shiver and the wind picks up its speed. Nature becomes hostile and I am reminded of betrayals and jazz music. I walk with a crowd that seldom thinks, that never feels. My bones ache but it’s not the pain, it’s the anger, perhaps fused with melancholy. They’ll never know. Such a pity, really. Such base desires. I’d rather mock them and sulk alone than be a part of something so utterly meaningless. The sounds of the sea are calling my name. I’m afraid I’ll drown if I go near them. They’ll find their faults with the sea too. It’s saltwater, they’ll say. It tastes sweet, if you ask me. Reading an old classic till my eyes hurt, I play some music for myself. It doesn’t help. It’s doesn’t help at all. These birds scream too, I’ve realized. Nobody who treads the earth as a mortal can truly know ‘meaning’. Maybe my veins do not carry optimistic blood, but I still believe in a truth that my mind tells me. Thoughts are my bedtime stories and chaos is a lover in disguise. The more I see, the less I know. It hurts but I shouldn’t let it. There are too many things left to be seen and too many things seem to be left. I can try to find the missing pieces if not solve the puzzle itself.

Advertisements