Packed luggage, take-out food, empty rooms, four walls, memories.
The inward eye, whenever recalls that moment, I find myself travelling back in time to that very moment which had evoked a plethora of memories. Profusion of details flood my subconscious; the lingering feeling of finality being the most prominent one. Surrounded by the echoes of my own voice amidst the walls, I look at the world outside, brimming with life. The cacophony of familiar sounds, the hustle-bustle engulfing the environs, the old-city charm in the narrow streets and busy boulevards…I shall miss it all.
Calcutta had ushered me to a world I had never seen before. The vehemence of its vibrancy had perplexed my senses. But it had all come down to the people I had met there. Beautiful people. Strangers turned into friends. It was time well spent. Little did I know that everything that was being done was getting etched in the mind forever. That, out of so many people, I’d find some to cherish. Memories, they say, are born from simple, satisfying events. It’s only later that the magnitude of their complexity can be gauged. I too, realized the essence of this brilliant contradiction when it was time to leave.
By now, I have become accustomed to the leaving ritual which beckons at my doorstep after every three to five years. What I haven’t learnt so far is the art of leaving. No matter how mentally and emotionally stable your soul is, leaving will always get to you. In the most unusual ways. Such is its sheer power. Because when you leave, you leave a part of yourself which didn’t even exist before. A part of your soul filled with nothing but memories. And this is why the very act of leaving is devastating. It demands you to part with the reason behind these memories-the people.
The act of leaving is half the act done; per se. The other half, an equally difficult concept is ‘making new friends’. It is the hardest thing ever. And even that seems to be an understatement considering the existence of people like me who, in friendships, look for soul mates. Given the fact that it “just happens” make my prejudices even more complex, thereby rendering a sense of contradiction to them. To embark on “find a perfect friend” expedition is thus, for me, a futile attempt. Or is it?
The human mind has been crafted with the fabric of detailed recollections. Precision of thought and clarity of idea equips this sublime specimen with a cognitively skillful ability to remember things. With striking acuity. By virtue of this ability, I am but a mere tool of giving life to these memories, almost as a method of communion.
And so the inevitable unfolds; subtly. The sense of urgency develops gradually, gently seeping into my subconscious, gaining access to my intense emotions, finding avenues for expression. The urgency then manifests into a need. A need to find people you’ve already found. A need to come across people you’ve previously loved and continue to do so. To put it more clearly, it’s a need to find someone you can cherish again-a need to give life to those memories again.
The origin of this need is quite untraceable. Maybe we feel this way because we are afraid that something great like this can’t happen twice. Well, the truth is, it can. Speaking from my personal experience, it can happen. We all just need to find such people out there.
In the end, I am reminded of this: Seven billion people. Seven billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is ONE.
October 23, 2015 at 12:01 pm
I very much understand this sentiment. But you’re right: all we need is one. 🙂
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October 23, 2015 at 12:50 pm
thank you! 🙂
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October 23, 2015 at 3:51 pm
Wow! So well written with beautiful expressions. I’m so glad that i met you! 🙂
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October 23, 2015 at 4:13 pm
thank you SO much. glad to have met you too love. 🙂
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January 23, 2016 at 12:34 am
Looking back over a long and interesting life, I see now that what we really are is memories; they’re what holds us together and defines us. I can plunge into past lives memories (or as I prefer to call them, remembrances) and I see so much. I push myself, my mind, into the future and I come back amazed at the “invention” of infinity! I think there is great truth in the concept that our human nature is solipsistic. From my viewpoint, the “One” you refer to is the individual, the lone thinker who does not belong to the herd, but walks alone even in the midst of the best of company. The One is at the center of everything and carries that center wherever she goes, and wherever she goes, that is home, be it for one day, one year, one lifetime. That is the empowered way to know the world; to meet, greet, say goodbye to, people, animals, places. It is detachment through awareness of the endlessness of everything. It is being truly alive and free. I sense that in your words in other posts also. Lovely blog you have and an even lovelier way of expression. Your use of the English language is, in my opinion, exquisite. It’s as if you were strewing flowers on a path as you write along. Thanks for the treat in word imagery.
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January 23, 2016 at 1:35 am
I cannot fathom the human existence without these memories. To be able to re-live them and cherish them is what keeps us going.
I agree with the way you perceive ‘the one’ out there. People can rightly be equated with the feeling of being home. It’s the warmth, the comfort and the wonderful bliss of being with them that is so intricately woven into our minds in the form of these remembrances.
Lastly, I’m touched to hear such kind words from you. I really appreciate it. Thank you for brightening up my day and taking your time out to read this blog. :’)
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February 16, 2016 at 11:50 am
Very well written …beautiful construction of sentences.
You ve reminded me The Vladimir Nobakov.
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February 16, 2016 at 11:54 am
Thank you so much. :’)
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February 16, 2016 at 11:58 am
I hope you ve read all you liked!
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February 16, 2016 at 11:59 am
Yes I did. 🙂
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March 8, 2016 at 4:15 pm
Aw, my! You have expressed these emotions, and raw feelings so perfectly! It’s as you were looking into my would for these delicate words! Inspiring! Thank you for sharing! 😀
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March 9, 2016 at 11:08 am
It’s heartening to read such a lovely feedback. Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked this post, it’s close to my heart. I appreciate your words. 🙂
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March 9, 2016 at 4:10 pm
Aw, most welcome my friend! I’m so glad I could be of help 😀
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March 9, 2016 at 4:11 pm
I’m glad too. 😀
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June 16, 2016 at 9:48 am
Like the nostalgia in the post, apart from the optimism 🙂 Nicely written!
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June 16, 2016 at 11:19 am
Thank you so much. Glad you liked it. 🙂
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